Channelling messages from beyond…

OK, so who owns a BT Home Hub?  I’m sure many tens of you do, as that's the default solution from BT for home internet connections. And I’m sure its a great product.  However, they seem to cause me nothing but trouble – you see, I don’t use BT as an ISP as they’re comparatively expensive, low on functionality, and reports indicate that its quite slow and unreliable too.   So, I’ve got my own Wifi routers (Linksys WRT54gl’s) in the house which run a custom firmware and allow me to set them up just so.  Three of them ensure that I have total wifi coverage at Very Good or above throughout the house.  Or that's the theory.

For those that don’t know, here’s a brief technical overview of how wifi works…   Wifi is generally split into 4 types – A, B, G and N, with A & N running at 5 Ghz, and B, G (and N) running at 2.1 Ghz.  5 Ghz offers around 19 channels in Europe with 20 Mhz separation, which is fine.  However,  2.1 Ghz only offers 13 channels spaced 5 Mhz apart, but the wifi protocol requires 25mhz of separation.  This means that in reality, there are only three or four channels that can be used without clashing with other networks.  And that's assuming that you’ve no other devices on the 2.1Ghz band such as Bluetooth, baby monitors,  TV senders,  wireless video game controllers – even microwaves and fluorescent lights can generate radio noise on this band.

A few minutes spent planning the network can reduce the impact that this has, even for a single access point.  The diagram shows the spectrum coverage of the given wifi channels, and you can use this to work out what the optimal settings for your network is.

So what you need to do is find out what channels your neighbours network is on (many wifi drivers and access points will show you).  If for example they’re on channel 11,  you could use 7 downwards.  Where it becomes more complicated is when you have neighbours both sides with wifi – you’ve got to slot in with them and hope that there are free channels available.

But back to my original point – flippin BT HomeHubs!  Most of my neighbours seem to be using them, which is fine, BUT the HomeHubs don’t seem to be able to pick a channel and stick with it – except when manually configured to do so! Every few weeks I find my wireless has gone to hell, and I look, and one of the hubs has changed its channel to the opposite end of the spectrum which means recalibrating my setup to get the best I can with the least overlap.  What’s most annoying is that they seem pretty useless at seeing what's available and will often arbitrarily pick channel 6 or 7 no matter what is around them!  Which makes it pretty difficult to configure the network without any overlap.  My only hope is 802.11n (N networks) will go someway to improve this, but I don’t currently have any experience on its impact, other than it is supposed to be better in noisy environments.  But for now, I’ll stick with wired ethernet where I require guaranteed service such as to my media server, as its the only way of ensuring a consistent an reliable connection. 

And if you find your wireless experience is awful, check your channel assignment – the chances are you and your neighbours are all shouting at the same time and drowning each other out!

Installing Debian Lenny on ML370 G3 with RAID Controller.

Whilst Debian Lenny is compatible with the Compaq/HP ML370 G3 with RAID Controller on-board, it took me a little work to get it installed and I wanted to document my efforts for myself and others!  This was a painful process to get it working, and perhaps isn’t for the weak of heart or those early in their Linux-ninja training, but hopefully this will guide you to the path of enlightenment and joy!

PreReqs:-
An ML370 G3 with sufficient hardware to boot/install e.t.c.
A copy of HP SmartStart (I used 7.20, others may work). ftp://ftp.hp.com/pub/products/servers/supportsoftware/ZIP/
A copy of Windows 2003 (2000 may also work).
Debian Lenny NetInst CD
USB Stick formatted as FAT with ‘non-free’ Array Controller Driver saved to it (ql2300_fw.bin in my case).

How I did it:-

1. Connect up the machine, power on and insert the HP SmartStart CD
2. Once the SmartStart has booted, configure your array(s) as per your requirement.  In my case, I used 2x147GB drives in a RAID1 and 4x72GB drives in a RAID5.
3. Do an operating system install, choose to install Windows and let it do its own partitioning.
4. Let Windows install, don’t bother doing any major configuratoring as you’re going to wipe the server again shortly…
5. Once Windows is installed and on the desktop, insert the Debian CD and Reboot.
6. Boot to the Lenny Installer, and choose a ‘Standard Install’.
7. Configure as normal.
8. When you get to the bit about partitioning, choose the Manual Option.
9. Goto the NTFS partition that the Windows install created, change it to an Ext3 format, ensure it is set to be bootable, and set the mount point to be /.
10. Id leave other partition configuration until the point that you can boot Linux.
11. Carry on and install whatever packages/components you require as standard.
12. When you’re prompted to install the GRUB bootloader into the MBR – SAY NO
13. You’ll be asked where you want to install the bootloader.  My partition was /dev/cciss/c0d0p1.
14. Finish off the Installer, remove the CD and Reboot.
15. Fingers x’d, you’ll get GRUB boot menu.  Mine then refused to boot the OS saying that the Operating System wasn’t found.   I edited the initial boot menu because it was referring to HD (1,0).  I changed this to HD (0,0) and it booted.
16. Login to the console.
17. If the GRUB editing worked, make sure to edit /boot/grub/menu.lst and permanently change the setting to HD (0,0) for each of the menu items.
    

Cool Runnings:-
This server when running at full tilt with the fans is a noisy noisy beasty! However, you can control those fans to make them run at a dull roar rather than full hurricane force chat.  Follow the instructions from Jonas Bjork related to Ubuntu. Debian works exactly the same way, but you’ll need to install SNMPD and libstdc++2.10-glibc2.2 (the latter you’ll have to manually download the .deb from the Etch repository).  Once its all installed, run the ‘hpasm activate’ command and follow the on-screen instructions.

Profit!

Phish and Chips?

Do you use Windows Live/MSN/Hotmail/Windows Passport?  What about Google, AOL and Yahoo services?  If so, you may be well changing your password.  A large list of user accounts are believed to have been ‘phished’ from Internet users across the globe, originally thought to be centered on the Windows Live services, but now appears to be spread across many of the top companies.

Now, Phishing is quite a common occurrence related to IT security, but it certainly serves as a reminder that you should follow a few simple rules on the Internet and in Email.

• Always use different, complex passwords on each service you register for.
• Change those passwords on a regular basis
• Never respond to requests for information, either via email or pop-up messages.  If you receive an email from a company that you do business with, go to their website directly – NEVER EVER EVER click on a link provided by email.
• Engage brain before operating hand or mouth – Stop, take a deep breath and think about what you’re being asked for.  Don’t give it out and if you feel like you have to, why not give false information instead?
• Check your statements/accounts regularly for any irregularities, and if you spot anything, contact the company IMMEDIATLY.
• Many companies have a contact us area which you can report phishy emails to.  They will be able to investigate on your behalf and notify the relevant authorities.  Again,  visit their website by entering the address manually in the browser rather than clicking a link.

If you have difficulty remembering your passwords or building complex passwords to use,  why not investigate the KeePass utility.   This is a secure password vault in which you can store a database of usernames, sites and passwords in a safe, encrypted manor. I’ve started using it on my home computer and also on my mobile phone whilst at work (with synchronised databases) and allows me to keep a record of all of the websites Ive registered for and the secure password associated with it.  That way, all I have to do is remember one secure password to unlock the vault rather than 50-100 or use the same password across multiple services.  You should just remember to back it up regularly to ensure that you don’t loose all your passwords in one fell swoop!

The BBC have an article on the attack HERE.

Re-Re-Tune (when the crowd say Bo Selecta?)

Hopefully it won’t have escaped your attention, but Freeview watchers will need to retune your freeview box/TV tomorrow afternoon/evening (Wednesday 30th).

The BBC have put together an excellent overview of what's happening:-

What's happening and when?

On Wednesday morning, 30 September, the Freeview service is being updated. Some TV and radio channels will move position. If people don't retune their equipment they will no longer receive them. The move involves around 25 million Freeview TV sets, set-top boxes and digital recorders, including TopUp TV and BT Vision boxes. It doesn't affect satellite or cable systems such as Sky or Freesat or cable.

Why is the change needed?

To make channel Five available in half a million more homes and to prepare for high-definition broadcasts.

What happens if I don't retune?

On the affected channels, you'll see a message telling you the channel has moved and asking you to retune. Anyone who needs help can find it at www.tvretune.co.uk or via a telephone helpline - 08456 01 11 22.

Which channels are mainly affected?

Five is moving, and so are ITV3 and ITV4. There will also be a new TV channel called Quest.

Some BBC radio stations will be affected in areas that have already gone through digital switchover. Listeners in the Border TV region, the West country and some parts of Wales will lose these stations unless they retune.

Will some channels disappear altogether?

Around 460,000 homes - which get their TV signals through relay transmitters - will no longer receive ITV3 or ITV4. That means they will lose some European football matches and classic TV dramas such as Cracker and Poirot.

The Community Channel will no longer be available on Freeview in areas that have gone through switchover.

Can all Freeview equipment be retuned?

Around 22,000 older set-top boxes may no longer work.

If you’re not sure how to retune your Freeview, there is an excellent website www.tvretune.co.uk which has instructions for many devices – its something to make a note of as you should be doing a retune every couple of months to make sure you get the latest channel changes, especially in the run up to Digital Switchover.  And tuning digital equipment is much easier than the days of analogue – its usually a case of selecting an option from the on-screen menu and letting it run through.  Plus, a reminder to Cable and Satellite viewers (including Freesat), you don’t need to retune those set-top boxes.

Ask a Stupid Question….

Get a stupid Answer.   Or maybe not today (September 28th) as today is ‘Ask a Stupid Question Day’.  According to wikipedia "the roots of this special day go back to the 1980s. At the time, there was a movement by teachers to try to get kids to ask more questions in the classroom. The kids would then ask stupid questions to make the teachers happy."

I think this is a brilliant idea designed to get people thinking about crazy problems and perhaps finding a solution, and it should be encouraged. In fact, according to various newspapers, schools are starting to embrace the day and get pupils to think outside the box, perhaps escaping from the conscripted nature of the National Curriculum. 

The telegraph has an excellent list of questions reproduced here.

Q: What's the opposite of a camel?
A: The opposite of a camel is a soap dish: it has dimples instead of humps and lives in a mostly moist area.

Q: How long would it take to roast a fully grown Indian elephant?
A: An Indian elephant, average weight 5000kg, would take 2916 hours and 40 minutes to roast to perfection (based on 35 minutes a kilogram). You would need an extremely large serving dish.

Q: In Mars Bars, how much taller is Jeremy Clarkson than Tom Cruise?
A: A Mars bar is four inches long. Jeremy Clarkson measures 19.25 Mars Bars (six feet five), while Tom Cruise is 16.75 Mars bars high (five feet seven). That's a 2.5 Mars bar difference.

Q: How long would it take a snail to slide around the world?
A: 34,519 days at 0.7 miles a day or 0.03 miles per hour, the average speed for a garden snail.

Q: What’s the funniest word in the world?
A: The funniest word in the English language is fartlek (an athletic training regime); other funny words include furphy, pratfall, parp and firkin.

Q: What is the best type of biscuit to make a mattress from?
A: The best type of biscuits to make a mattress from would be fig rolls or strawberry Newtons. They would be soft, but still provide some back support.

Q: I want to write a film script which makes me millions: what should it be about?
A: Based on the top-grossing films, your script should be about a young wizard and a robot looking for a ring on a pirate ship which sinks. Good luck.

Q: In an average lifetime, how much gas will a human expel?
A: The average adult has 14 occurrences of flatulence per day. Total expulsion is about 538ml, making approximately 14,727 litres of gas expelled in a life time.

Q: How long is a piece of string?
A: A piece of string is twice as long as half its length. It is usually shorter than the amount you need to wrap a parcel, but always long enough to tangle.

Q: When will I die?
A: You will die in a freak parachuting accident aged 98. Your memorial service, attended by more than 1,000 of your closest friends, will be at Wembley.

Brilliant!  Have you got any daft questions, or have you been asked any recently?  Why not leave them in the comments below.

Creating a Monopoly…

This may have passed you by, but Monopoly have launched a new free online game called Monopoly City Streets.   This game uses Google Maps and Open Street Map to allow you to buy “real” life streets and build properties on them (all be it virtually). 

You start off with 3 million monopoly dollars,  buy up streets then can build a variety of properties on those streets.  The bigger the property, the more expensive it is to build, but the more rent you get back from it.  Additionally, you get random chance cards, some good (such as allowing you to to build protective ‘stadiums’ or ‘parks’) and bad (such as getting fined for not getting planning permission). You can also interfere with other peoples games, such as building a hazard (which cancels any rent on that road) or demolishing one of their buildings.  If you fancy it, you can make offers on other peoples streets and properties.

Its a great game which suffered from oversubscription to start with causing the servers to overload, but this has now been sorted after a reset and is ticking along nicely.  Its great fun playing an MMORPG based around Monopoly and Id recommend anyone to try it.

Its accessible at www.monopolycitystreets.com but it may not be accessible from your work computer – try it at home!

Open Sauce (and how to get there)…

OK, so I’ve blogged about it before, but I wanted to talk about an Open Source development called OpenStreetMap. This is an Open software development using user generated mapping information to generate GIS data. 

So why the need for this, when TomTom, Google Earth et al all do an excellent job of providing mapping information.  Well, the simple reason is that companies own the copyright to their mapping data and information, meaning that if you want to use it, you have to pay a (some times hefty) licence for the privilege.  Alternatively, you COULD rip the information off one of these providers, but the chances are you’ll get caught.  Even a respected company like the AA has fallen into this trap, copying Ordinance Survey maps and reselling them as their own work.  You would think that a map is a map and its impossible to tell what's been copied, but mapping companies are clever – they add subtle details into maps which won’t affect their day to day use, but act as markers to highlight plagiarists. For example, they’ll add a small fake road at the end of a street, where only terrace houses exist.  Or, they’ll add a kink in a road that doesn’t exist – it doesn’t affect the general use, but unless you go there and map the information yourself, you’d never know it wasn’t really like that.

So OpenStreetMap is designed to be the wikipedia of maps – people go out into their community, collect mapping data (using GPS logs, photo’s and notes) and then converting this into a digital map available to the community under a creative commons licence.  The process of generating a map is

1) Go out and get the data – Use a GPS to log your position, make notes of street names,  any points of interest along the way (such as pubs, post boxes and the like) and perhaps even photo’s of the area.

2) Map the data – Import your GPS track logs,  convert this into mapping data such as streets, street names, speed limits and the like.

3) Publish your work – Send the data to the OpenStreetMap server for use in the map.

If you visit www.openstreetmap.org and have a look around, you’ll notice that many Urban area’s of the UK are reasonably well mapped.  This is the case of my local area, apart from the side streets in my neighbourhood.  I’ve already added a couple of streets to see how reasonably easy it is, and now I’ve got the bug to start gathering and updating more data.  One useful feature of the service being opened is that you can make changes where you spot a mistake on the map – so for example, if you spot a speed limit has changed, whilst it might take TomTom 18months+ to update the map,  you can make the change there and then, and then that will be available to all.  Id highly recommend anyone with a GIS, mapping, geographical or community interest to get involved and expand the quality of the data – why not have a mapping party and get loads of people involved – all you need is a GPS logging device (many phones are now capable of this), somewhere to record notes, and a bit of patience actually map your area.

Ay? DSL?

As well as my new phone, I’ve got round to sorting my broadband provider.  Regular readers will remember my quest to find a new ADSL service after hitting problems with my current supplier, Demon.  Well, its taken a while but I’ve finally got my MAC code and I’m transitioning to my new service provider AAISP hopefully sometime on Monday.

I’ve chosen AAISP for several reasons:-

1) Their service is aimed at a corporate or ‘professional’ users – their website isn’t that pretty, but it has lots of technical information for those that are interested.

2) Whilst not an ‘unlimited’ service, they offer good Fair usage polices with the option to buy more if you exceed the limits.  They operate a ‘daytime (9am-6pm)’ and ‘evening (6pm-midnight)’ tariff structure with transfers outside these times FREE!.  I’ve gone for 4GB day/100GB evening rate because I generally use the Internet during the evening, but I do have stuff synchronising during the day too.  I’ll have to see how it goes because you can adjust it monthly up or down depending on requirements.  And having unlimited out of hours downloads is great because I can just schedule them to start & stop during this time.

3) When you sign up, you can request as many external IP addresses as you like (within reason).  So I’ve got 5 routable static IP addresses available to use, plus they support IPv6 natively and they’ve assigned me a 48 bit IPv6 subnet – I could have 2^64 devices on my network without running out of capacity.  So if everyone in the world decides to come round my house and each has a smartphone and a laptop,  there’s still plenty to go around.

4) Bull plop isn’t bundled as a free extra.  You only have to look at their support section to see this – They’ll admit when they make a mistake, but they’ll also say when the problem lies ‘upstream’ with a provider, e.g. BT.  Plus, this is the first bit in their terms and conditions:-

It is up to you to pick the right service for you, and some services have usage limits. The internet is big and complicated and we do not control it. The internet has many good and useful things in it, but it also has bad things, so do not blame us for anything you find. It is up to you to protect your network. You must take responsibility for what you do with the service, and for anyone you let use the service. The internet has rules, so play fair. Things can break! If they do, we will try and fix things as quickly as we can. It can take days to fix some problems. We allocate you internet addresses, but they do not belong to you, and we can change them if we need to.

Quality! 

So, fingers x’d, things will go across smoothly on Monday.  I will be spending the weekend reconfiguring my router for the new service.  Ohh, and people who live in the Midlands and have broadband, I’ve some news for you on some major BT changes coming very soon – watch this space!

Finally a new phone…

Well, I’ve finally got myself a new phone, after the old Ameo started being a bit creaky and a bit bulky to carry around, and I've replaced it with a new Smartphone, the HTC Touch Diamond 2.

You may remember me blogging about this phone WAY back in February and now I’ve finally got my hands on this great bit of kit. And what’s even better is that is that the ‘unofficial’ development channels have had a chance to do some magic and work the phone into a real beaut…  The reason I now go for HTC devices is that there is lots of 3rd party development work, not only on applications, but on the underlying operating system.  

A few of the phone’s specs:

3.2” WVGA screen (800x480).
5mp Camera.
TouchFlo 3d interface.
A-GPS.
Upto 32GB storage (8GB MiniSD fitted).
Wifi/Bluetooth/HSDPA.
FM Radio
Delivered with Windows Mobile 6.1, but upgraded to a beta release of Mobile 6.5. 

I have to say, I’m amazing impressed with the phone and HTC have really stepped upto the bat to compete with the iPhone.  The biggest way they’ve done this is to ‘hide’ as much of Windows Mobile as they can within the TF3D interface.  This allows you to make calls, see texts and emails, launch programmes and change settings from within this ‘front end’ with finger gestures, rather than having to use a stylus.  A stylus is still provided for when a program doesn’t support touch gestures, but this is becoming less common these days.

Another massive improvement to the earlier TouchFlo implementations is the contact integration.  This is now designed to be like a mini CMS solution, meaning that each contact has a ‘profile’ area, where all communication with that person is logged, be it phone calls, text messages, email or even facebook feeds. That's right, it links with your facebook profile and pulls down status updates, photo’s and other information from your facebook friends – Genius!  Hopefully the next revision will also support Twitter feeds which is the one thing missing!

The only trouble I’m having from the phone is that its too shiny!  The glass, and satin case pickup fingerprints merely through the power of thought, but hopefully I’ll get a case that will protect against this! :)

SysAdmin Day

Today is the 10th annual system administrator day, where you give thanks for the service and assistance provided by your IT Engineer’s, head geeks and tech guru’s.  Celebrated every year on the last Friday in July, it is a day where we accept gifts, praise, cards and food in return for a years hard work.

From the official sysadminday.com website, here is a description of what a sysadmin does…

What is a system administrator? Well, look at the title. Administrator of systems. A system administrator takes care of systems.

Now, most people read "system" to mean an individual computer, and think that all a sysadmin does is clean viruses off your computer and replace your monitor. That's not wrong -- but it is only one page of the whole story.

A real computing system is larger. Very few computers work just on their own anymore; when you use the web, play a game online, share files with a friend, or send email, you're using a complex and intricate collection of computers, networks and software that come together to do the job you're asking.

A sysadmin manages these systems -- they figure out how to bring storage from one server, processing from another, backups from a third and networking from a fourth computer all together, working seamlessly. For you.

It's not an easy task. Your sysadmins need to understand in depth computing protocols. They often have to know something about programming, something about hardware, a lot about software -- and even more about the people using their system.

A sysadmin is a professional, with complex skills, ethical challenges, and a daunting job. Many, if not most, people find computers difficult to use, and sometimes they're unreliable. Being a sysadmin doesn't absolve someone of dealing with unreliable computers. Oh, one can dream of such a day, but the opposite is true; no one sees more dead computers in a day than a sysadmin. No one sees them doing truly baffling things, and no one has more stories of computers failing, acting possessed, or even catching on fire.

The challenge of a sysadmin is making a computing system -- a whole network of resources and servers and software -- work together, work right, work even when parts of it fail -- and work for you.

That's the most important job of the sysadmin: to work for you. To take the staggering array of technologies, acronyms, protocols, networks, vendors, budgets, limited time, competing products, and threats to the computing network, assemble them all together in a working system. Their job is not only to be the geek in the corner who types all day. What they're doing is bringing these diverse pieces of technology into order, and fitting them together to fill your needs at work and home; to translate the world of computing into human terms.

This is a daunting task and we're still at the cutting edge; we're not perfect, and the field is still figuring itself out. Being a sysadmin takes a certain boldness, to be one of the first people to take on the challenge of turning difficult computers into easy to use systems. But hundreds of thousands of people are working in that field now, from the entry level help desk tech to the corporate CIOs and everyone in between.

So when you think of a sysadmin, think of the people who run the servers that help you clean it off, the people who run your backups to make sure your data is safe, the people who bring you the network, the people who monitor it for security -- and yes, the person who cleans the virus off your computer and replaces your monitor.

And here is a list of ways to utilise your sys admin (in this instance called Ted) to obtain the best value…

• Make sure to save all your MP3 files on your network drive. No sense in wasting valuable space on your local drive! Plus, Ted loves browsing through 100+ GB of music files while he backs up the servers.
• Play with all the wires you can find. If you can't find enough, open something up to expose them. After you have finished, and nothing works anymore, put it all back together and call Ted. Deny that you touched anything and that it was working perfectly only five minutes ago. Ted just loves a good mystery. For added effect you can keep looking over his shoulder and ask what each wire is for.
• Never write down error messages. Just click OK, or restart your computer. Ted likes to guess what the error message was.
• When talking about your computer, use terms like "Thingy" and "Big Connector."
• If you get an EXE file in an email attachment, open it immediately. Ted likes to make sure the anti-virus software is working properly.
• When Ted says he coming right over, log out and go for coffee. It's no problem for him to remember your password.
• When you call Ted to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under a year-old pile of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, unpaid bills, bowling trophies and Popsicle sticks. Ted doesn't have a life, and he finds it deeply moving to catch a glimpse of yours.
• When Ted sends you an email marked as "Highly Important" or "Action Required", delete it at once. He's probably just testing some new-fangled email software.
• When Ted's eating lunch at his desk or in the lunchroom, walk right in, grab a few of his fries, then spill your guts and expect him to respond immediately. Ted lives to serve, and he's always ready to think about fixing computers, especially yours.
• When Ted's at the water cooler or outside taking a breath of fresh air, find him and ask him a computer question. The only reason he takes breaks at all is to ferret out all those employees who don't have email or a telephone.
• Send urgent email ALL IN UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
• When the photocopier doesn't work, call Ted. There's electronics in it, so it should be right up his alley.
• When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at your home computer, call Ted. He enjoys fixing telephone problems from remote locations. Especially on weekends.
• When something goes wrong with your home PC, dump it on Ted's chair the next morning with no name, no phone number, and no description of the problem. Ted just loves a good mystery.
• When you have Ted on the phone walking you through changing a setting on your PC, read the newspaper. Ted doesn't actually mean for you to DO anything. He just loves to hear himself talk.
• When your company offers training on an upcoming OS upgrade, don't bother to sign up. Ted will be there to hold your hand when the time comes.
• When the printer won't print, re-send the job 20 times in rapid succession. That should do the trick.
• When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all the printers in the office. One of them is bound to work.
• Don't use online help. Online help is for wimps.
• Don't read the operator's manual. Manuals are for wussies.
• If you're taking night classes in computer science, feel free to demonstrate your fledgling expertise by updating the network drivers for you and all your co-workers. Ted will be grateful for the overtime when he has to stay until 2:30am fixing all of them.
• When Ted's fixing your computer at a quarter past one, eat your Whopper with cheese in his face. He functions better when he's slightly dizzy from hunger.
• When Ted asks you whether you've installed any new software on your computer, LIE. It's no one else's business what you've got on your computer.
• If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the monitor and stuff the cable under it. Those skinny Mouse cables were designed to have 55 lbs. of computer monitor crushing them.
• If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame Ted for not upgrading it sooner. Hell, it's not your fault there's a half pound of pizza crust crumbs, nail clippings, and big sticky drops of Mountain Dew under the keys.
• When you get the message saying "Are you sure?", click the "Yes" button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?
• Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that boneheaded computer crap." It never bothers Ted to hear his area of professional expertise referred to as boneheaded crap.
• Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. God forbid somebody else should sneak a one-page job in between your 500-page Word document.
• When you send that 500-page document to the printer, don't bother to check if the printer has enough paper. That's Ted's job.
• When Ted calls you 30 minutes later and tells you that the printer printed 24 pages of your 500-page document before it ran out of paper, and there are now nine other jobs in the queue behind yours, ask him why he didn't bother to add more paper.
• When you receive a 130 MB movie file, send it to everyone as a high-priority mail attachment. Ted's provided plenty of disk space and processor capacity on the new mail server for just those kinds of important things.
• When you bump into Ted in the grocery store on a Sunday afternoon, ask him computer questions. He works 24/7, and is always thinking about computers, even when he's at super-market buying toilet paper and doggie treats.
• If your son is a student in computer science, have him come in on the weekends and do his projects on your office computer. Ted will be there for you when your son's illegal copy of Visual Basic 6.0 makes the Access database keel over and die.
• When you bring Ted your own "no-name" brand PC to repair for free at the office, tell him how urgently he needs to fix it so you can get back to playing EverQuest. He'll get on it right away, because everyone knows he doesn't do anything all day except surf the Internet.
• Don't ever thank Ted. He loves fixing everything AND getting paid for it!

So, give thanks for all that IT has bestowed on you, and feel free to pass unto your engineer one of these many gift ideas… 

50 Fun things to do in a lift

I’ve been reminded of this I received some years back…

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you''re on rough seas.
7. Shave. (Especially if you're a woman.)
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now. Damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious literature to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a twenty-pence in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Shout, "Bombs away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the lift.
28. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the lift is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your phone?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"

A Warning for the late 00’s

I laughed at this,  then realised that actually it probably DOES apply to me.

In Search of a Provider (ISP).

OK, so I’m basically fed up with my current Internet Service Provider (Demon.net).  There’s nothing specifically wrong with their service, in fact, Id still recommend them to anyone who asked – stable, reliable and reasonably quick, but they’re no longer fulfilling my requirements.

Currently I pay £22 per month for an ‘upto 8mb’ service, which gives me about 3.5mb download, 448k upload, a static IP address and no traffic shaping or restrictions.  Or at least, it used to.  But over the last couple of months, I’ve been embracing lots more video over the web services as well as doing a few linux installs across the net.  This has meant that I have exceeded Demon’s Fair Usage Policy of 60GB in 30days, and therefore, they’ve started restricting my service to 128k download (256k upload) between 9am and 11pm every day.  Now, 60gb may seem like a lot of traffic, and upto 12 months ago, I would agree.  However, in these days of high definition video over the internet. combined with sites with ever more graphics, video, sound and interactivity, its very easy to burn through your allowance.  For example, if you watch a HD programme from the BBC iPlayer, these can be upto 2GB for an hour’s show – 30 of these and that’s your lot.  With the amount of Internet services I use,  the allowance disappears like sand through a colander.   I do have to question why they chose 128k as a limit – this is a pitiful amount and makes everything painful – even loading a webpage takes a number of seconds, so I’ve had to fall back to my 3G 3 dongle for general browsing activities.   I don’t know why they can’t set it to 512k to limit usage, but keep usage times reasonable, but then I guess that's not much of an incentive is it? 

Anyway,  I’ve been scouting around for a true ‘unlimited’ package, rather than an unlimited but.. provider and my choices are few and far between.  My 3 key requirements are:-

• True, unlimited internet usage.
• Static IP address
• <=£25 per month.

I require a decent internet service, and don’t mind paying for it, but I don’t believe its worth more than £25 for a standard ADSL service.

So having a look around, what I want can’t be achieved.   I had narrowed it down to o2 who seem to get excellent reviews, are reasonably priced, and .  However,  you have to be one of their enabled exchanges.  And as seems to be the way these days,  I’m not.  I live in a major conurbation and am connected to THIS exchange, but the only 3rd party provider is TalkTalk.  And they don’t do unlimited utilisation.  It seems that BT must charge so much for traffic, or perhaps its the pipes in the background, that the only economical way for an ISP to offer unlimited traffic is to offer local loop unbundling (LLU) service.  Now I wouldn’t mind this lack of LLU, if it weren't for the fact that EVERY exchange in a circle around me has a variety of providers available,  and is scheduled to be an early fibre to the cabinet exchange, whereas I’m still stuck in the early 21st century stuck on plain old ADSL, and as a techy, this just isn’t good enough!! Grr.   I’m just hoping that LTE wireless becomes quickly popular (4G mobile technology offering very high speed data).

So, if anyone knows of a decent, quality ISP that matches my requirements above, and will work on a standard BT Wholesale service, let me know, because I’m seriously struggling.

Sky EPG –> Dreambox Bouquets.

I’ve recently updated the software on the Dreambox and wanted to put an updated Bouquet on there with all the channels lined up in the ‘sky’ style.  With over 1000 channels to sort through, I thought there had to be an easier way.  Sonic1 over on this forum HERE has put up a massive sorted list of satellite feeds all over Europe and I recommend you use it.  However, if you just want the Sky UK EPG layout only as your bouquets, I’ve reworked it and published it HERE . 

This is compatible with DreamBoxEdit (v3.0.0 tested) and you will need to update your preferred local BBC and ITV regions as appropriate.  Also, you may need to update the bouquet frequencies and listings if necessary, as they do get changed fairly often.

gOS(h)

As you may have heard, Google have decided to step into the Operating System arena by releasing one aimed at revolutionising the desktop OS market.  At launch, it will be targeted at the lightweight ‘netbook’ range of devices specifically for people who require regular, rapid access to the Internet.   Information coming from the Mountain View chocolate factory is that it uses the Linux kernel using a ‘new windowing system’, presumably their own GUI rather than relying on X Windows and KDE or Gnome.  Presumably it is a rework of the Android platform to better support larger screens, keyboards and mice, although they do say that the two projects are not intertwined.  The OS also has Chrome Browser built in and is designed to be an interface into ‘cloud’ computing resources that have been talked about over the last couple of years.  Because the big G now provides ‘office’ resources such as E-Mail, Documents, Spreadsheets and Presentations online, they don’t see the point in having massive computing resources on the desk to write a simple document, when their server infrastructure can provide that for free (on the basis that they’ll sell advertising to you) provided you can get online.

Its an interesting approach to take, and it will be interesting to see how it pans out.  However, I do have a few concerns.  Firstly,  the Internet is NOT yet all pervasive.  Sure, you might have it wall to wall at home, and you may have access in the office.  You may even have 3G on your phone or via a dongle to get online whilst you’re mobile,  but you don’t have to travel very far to enter an internet black hole.  For example in our Office,  I can get HSDPA access with T-Mobile and 3 Internet,  but BT/Vodafone barely even has a 2G signal.  Likewise driving home,  even though I travel the M6 corridor, one of the busiest routes on the motorway network,  there are at least 3 spots where the signal drops out completely.  At the moment, this isn’t a problem, because you don’t need access to the net 100% of the time to write a document or update your e-mail.  But if you’re sat there with a blank screen because your network has dropped out, frustration levels soon start to set in.   

Of course, you can get round all this with offline synchronisation, which is the one thing currently missing from another cloud computing environment you may be exposed to – Citrix.  However,  you’re then NOT working in the cloud when you’re working offline, which means more storage, processing and memory requirements, defeating the point of a lightweight computing model.

Maybe my fears are unfounded,  or will be addressed when 4G (WiMax or LTE) appears, but I still can’t see full coverage if you’re stuck up a mountain somewhere miles from the nearest transmitter.  Still, I await this project with interest and see how it pans out in the battle with Microsoft and the soon to be released Windows 7.   Its good to see Linux continuing to make inroads into the end user environment,  I just hope it doesn’t become the pervasive kernel standard to the detriment of other Linux projects.

BootNote:

You may have heard the tale attributed to various IT Thinkers of the early 20th century but generally now attributed to be Thomas Watson of the IBM Corporation.  The quote believed to be from 1943 goes “There is maybe a world market for maybe five computers”,  ironic considering how ubiquitous computing now is.  But the point is that Google is now building a single massive global computer (a mainframe if you will) that we all have access to via what could be pretty ‘dumb’ devices.  This computer currently runs the worlds most popular search engine,  it hosts videos,  allows you to go shopping and send Emails.  In 50 years time,  will computing be done not at the desk, but in ‘the world’?  Will we access the internet in the same manor that we access electricity today?  We currently plug an electrical appliance into a socket and it works using electricity.  In the future, will we plug a terminal into a socket and the internet ‘just works’.   Don’t be surprised if we move to a “pay for what you use” ‘net where you don’t buy access to the grid, but you do buy access to the resources you use just like the utilities of today.

You and I are gonna live forever…

Last Night, Oasis played the Coventry Ricoh arena and I was there to witness it.  40,000 fans all singing along to Champagne Supernova is truly a sight and sound to behold, and it was definitely worth the £40 a ticket to go.  Having spent my teenage ‘angst’ years listening to their music, in particular their seminal early albums means that they’re one of the top bands on my list of must see’s. 

The complete set-list consisted of ‘Rock N Roll Star, Lyla, Shock Of The Lightning, Roll With It, Cigarettes And Alcohol, To Be Where There’s Life, Waiting For The Rapture, The Masterplan, Songbird, Slide Away, Morning Glory, My Big Mouth, The Importance Of Being Idle, Half The World Away, I’m Outta Time, Wonderwall, Supersonic, Live Forever, Don't Look Back In Anger, Falling Down, Champagne Supernova and I Am The Walrus’, and most them (apart from the most recent tracks) were all sing your heart out tracks.

Supporting were ‘The Enemy’ who were playing their home gig, and apart from the massive amounts of effing and jeffing (at least two per sentence) were also amazing with all their hits played at full tilt to really get the crowd going.  Also supporting were a new band called ‘Twisted Wheel’ – a Manchester band to keep your eye out for – Oasis on speed is the best way of describing them.  They played Glastonbury a few weeks ago, and I think we’ll be seeing a lot more of them in the coming years.

All in all, an excellent tour, and if you can get tickets to the Wembley shows in the next few days, do so – truly amazing stuff.

But to go back to the point of ‘must-see’s’,   I’ve had a discussion with a number of people as to who should also join that list.  The main one on my list would be Pink Floyd, but that's never going to happen.  I also had a suggestion of U2, but I’ve never been that bothered about their music.  Pendulum look and sound good from what I’ve seen, but I don’t think their crowd is my crowd, and the same for Prodigy.  I saw Bon Jovi at the Ricoh last year and they were fantastic, so that would be worth a revisit, but I think the only other one on my list at the moment are the ‘Foo Fighters’ if they ever play the UK again.  And OASIS again, unless the split rumours come true.    So further suggestions please? :)

Dress less for the Environment…

The weather forecast for this week is warm warm warm (upto about 32c, not a heat wave as the media suggest) and perhaps it is time that we start following the Japanese example to keep cool AND save the environment.  Their Government has issued an edict to employee’s of the nation’s companies to stop wearing ties, long sleeve shirts and coats, and dress for the summer.  In turn, Government departments are being told to turn UP their air-conditioning to 27c (82f) rather than the more common 25c (77f). It doesn’t sound much, but is forecast to save 81 million barrels of oil per summer.  In THIS article from 2005, it shows a certain amount of resistance from what is stereotypically seen as the straight laced Japanese worker.  But by issuing guidance on how to dress ‘smart-casual’, this resistance is waning slowly but steadily.   Its a clever approach by the powers that be to cut consumption by a decent margin, and its idea’s like this that will gradually reduce our demand for fossil fuels.  I suspect it also means that power stations aren't running at full tilt and means that spare capacity is available, unlike many forecasts that say some countries will be required to enforce switch off’s of regional area’s to prevent brown-outs due to the demand for energy from air-conditioning units.

The King has left the Building…

Well, what a strange morning.  I’m not a massive fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve grown up with Michael Jackson’s song’s – he’s been present in the music industry since I remember.   I’m too young to remember John Lennon’s passing, being born a couple of months after he was murdered, so, other than when Diana died, this is the biggest ‘famous’ death I’ve known. No matter what you think of him,  he was a great show person and the world of music has lost a massive talent.  I’m not about to mourn, as in my opinion, we all have our time, and when your ticket is called, you must go forward to the cashier, but I will certainly acknowledge that this is history being made…

Adventures in Time & Motion.

And now for my next experiment…

I found out a while ago (and have only just got round to trying it) that its possible to connect a Nintendo Wiimote to a computer using a Bluetooth Adapter.   The Wiimotes work via Bluetooth, so when you scan them they appear as HID’s and have a pin code of 0000.

So what's the point?  Well, primarily it makes it an excellent (and relatively inexpensive) remote control, ideal for a media centre or presentation controller.  Without using the motion sensors, the full set of buttons work natively on the controller to navigate, click forward & back, and exit (you can map button's to key's with software).

What is really cool is when you bring in the motion tracking and infra-red tracking elements.  The Wiimote (as I'm sure you're aware) has a 3 axis accelerometer and an infra-red tracking camera built in, which allows it to to know where it is in time and space.  Some clever developers, the most famous of whom is Johnny Lee, an MIT student who has written some excellent interface software to demonstrate the capabilities and possibilities of the hardware.

Some examples include using an IR-Led array and some reflective tape to provide an interface along the lines of "Minority Report",  building a cheap IR Pen to provide multi-touch interactive white boards, and my personal favourite, head-tracking to give 'virtual windows' into the world using this inexpensive technology.  You should checkout his website HERE where he discusses the capabilities and allows you to download the software.

Be sure to checkout the videos on YouTube - some impressive stuff indeed!

CD’s, and all that Jazz…

Its pretty cool how quickly the music industry are embracing new ways of making money after spending years fighting against it.  I attended a concert at Birmingham’s NIA on Friday Night (Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds) and as well as the usual programmes and t-shirts and other marketing stuff, I was impressed to see that they were offering a live recording of the night on a CD that you could collect 10 min’s after the gig finished.

Me being cynical thought nah, it’ll be a recorded ‘as live’ CD, but what the hey, its an interesting and nice souvenir to take home with me.  At the end of the concert, we all dutifully trouped out of the hall and were directed to a ‘sheep pen’ to await the arrival of the magic CD’s.  At that point I realised that perhaps it was a live CD, and that some fella was there burning them off with his laptop.  Not so!  A team of people were transferring CD’s from a spindle into ready printed cases, already prefilled with the Act 1 and photo excerpt CD’s whilst others ran back and forth with more CD’s! Amazing stuff, and really only a 15min delay in getting hold of the pressings.

Being intrigued by how it works, I looked up the company on the Internet (www.concertlive.co.uk) to see if I could find more information.  There’s a sky news video of the process HERE (doesn’t work in the office), but basically they have their own sound engineers who sample & record the concert from backstage, then burn off the resultant recording in a trailer filled with hundreds of CD burners.  As far as I can tell, the CD’s and cases come pre-printed, and the photo CD pre-pressed (its a normal silver CD), then they put the first half burned CD’s in during the second half, then put the second half CD’s in as they issue them. A genius idea, and easily achievable provided you have enough staff and enough CD burners!!!  The set costs £20, so more expensive than a shop-bought album, but not stupidly priced. And it helps fend off the bootleggers who record concerts then release them on the Internet, as the performers will each receive a cut of the CD’s sales, as well as the producers and record companies.

As far as sound quality goes, its top notch.  There was a problem with the sound in the Auditorium part way though where the left channel was lost, but the CD recording is perfect – I suspect they take a feed from the pre-amp and process it themselves to sound good on the CD, as well as taking a feed from atmospheric mics to get the standard ‘applause’ at the appropriate point.

But all in all, an excellent show, and some excellent idea’s for marketing.  I just wish the NIA was bit better organised.

The Digital Britain Report.

So the Digital Britain report is out – a review of ‘digital’ services across the UK and how we can improve Britain’s take-up of these to make us a more competitive country in the world economy, led not by private businesses, but by the government.  Whilst its good to see, countries around the world have been addressing this for years, so its a shame that only now in 2009 that the politicians are waking up to technology.

The recommendations from the report will lead to a real shakeup of some services, potentially affecting the entire population, whether they like it or not.   The full report is HERE but I’ve summed up some of the points:-

1. universal access to broadband by 2012, fund to invest in next generation broadband and liberalisation of 3G spectrum - government is keen to get the entire populous ‘online’ with at least a 2mb connection within 3 years.  To do this, they’re looking at having a 50p per month tax on each fixed phone line connection.  Our leaders are hoping that Rural area’s will be able to take advantage of 3G networks to supply the 2mb pipe they’re so keen push.  Which is great, but people don’t want Mobile pylons sprouting up across the country, so they’re going to need to address this.  In addition to this, the roll out of fibre to the cabinet by BT to bring upto 40mb/s to 50% of the population.  Virgin media are already working on 50mbps for their network, but many countries are already at 100mbps, and some looking at 1Gbps.  Too little, too late I think
2. digital radio upgrade by 2015 – They’re talking of scrapping the FM and AM bands for national broadcasters, something which is going to upset a LOT of people, especially when the solution is the somewhat average DAB standard.  The FM frequencies will be made available to local broadcasters only as a temporary measure, presumably so that they can eventually be sold off for other services.   So, anyone like me who tends to buy 5-6 year old cars, don’t be expecting to be able to listen to the likes of the BBC Radio network when they switch it off, at least not without laying down a wedge to upgrade your radio to a DAB standard.  Most people are perfectly happy with FM and don’t see the benefit of DAB which is why, despite must protestation to the opposite,  Digital radio’s arn’t flying off the shelves.
3. consultation on how to fund local, national and regional news, support for public service content partnerships – Discussions are already underway in allowing the BBC and ITV to share newsrooms in the regions – why bother sending two sets of journalists and AV people to report on a story, when often they capture the same information.  This could be an interesting approach and I’m all for it, provided that producers and directors within each broadcast agency are able to maintain their independence and take their own approach to reporting. 
4. changed role for Channel 4 – Discussions have been ongoing to merge Channel 4 with BBC World, the commercial arm of Auntie Beeb.  The report hints at ruling this out, but allowing regulatory change such as to allow for a different focus and allowing C4 to compete with other corporate broadcasters.
5. three year plan to boost digital participation – The BBC will be forced to take a slice of licence fee revenue (£200 million) to encourage the whole population to move to and embrace digital technology.  One interesting note from the report is that 3% of the populous surveyed by Ipsos Mori had never heard of the Internet.  Also 42% of people without internet access was due to self exclusion, with 37% of those saying that the Internet was of no interest.
6. legal and regulatory attack on digital piracy – The Government are proposing to review copyright legislation and giving more power to Ofcom and ISP’s to first try and dissuade illegal downloading of copyright material by reducing access, before implementing criminal law for those hardcore downloader's who cease and desist. Whilst this may go some way to addressing the issue, I personally believe that offering content at a lower cost and in a fair way (for example allowing the backup of physical medium for personal use) are the keys to reducing piracy on the Internet sea’s.

All in all, there’s nothing unexpected in the report, but there are some excellent idea’s & suggestions which act as good guidance.  The stone has been dropped into the mill pond, and I expect the ripples to radiate for some time.  However, there are some extremely contentious issues (especially in relation to the Radio) which I believe will cause a great amount of upset.  And the ‘rose tinted view’ of an all embracing digital UK will simply not live up to the expectations set out in this report. I hope they do, but I occasionally visit the real world to check on the state of things.

My Bargain of the Century…

I popped into my local Curry’s last night to look at headphones (see my previous thread on this topic) and whilst perusing the many isles where they store them, I happened to note the DAB radio section, and specifically the DAB/Wifi radio section, where upon I glanced upon the product you see on the right.

Its a Revo iblik wifi and its a clock radio that does…  FM, DAB, Internet Radio, Podcasts, UPnP media streaming, iPod dock and generic MP3 support.

Now, I’ve not got an iPod (having a deep mistrust of Apple products), but I have got access to all of the others.  And I have to say its amazing – rapid to setup, easy to use, excellent sound from something so small, it doesn’t look like a toaster or something from the 1950’s (why do DAB radio’s seem to have this requirement?) and works (so far) flawlessly.  I suppose that it shouldn’t be surprising how good it is when it retails at play.com for £169.99.  Which is why its a bargain when I picked up an ex demo unit for just £29.99. Unboxed, it was just the unit & the power wart, where as the boxed unit comes with…  A box,  remote control, stereo cable and manuals.  Well, the box goes straight in the bin anyway, the manual’s are available online, I’ve got stereo cables knocking around and the remote can be bought for the princely sum of £10 from the manufacturer’s website, should I feel the need to be able to control my alarm clock from the bed with a remote rather than having to reach my arm to tweak it.

And it seems like a good investment – the Government seem to be pushing to take the FM frequencies off the BBC and force them to use DAB only (more on the Digital Britain report later), but not only do I get local radio, but I can listen to radio you might not normally hear – last night I listened to RTL Germany,  the Sacramento fire department and the Atlantic radar control.  Amazing stuff, and recommended if you can find it at 1/5th the price it should be!

Oh yes, and I didn’t pickup any headphones. :)

I can see clearly now…

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I can’t find it anywhere, so I’ll bring it to the surface again.  I use a great product which I believe the masses have yet to discover :–

Rain-X is a vehicle window treatment which helps to repel water in the same way as car body wax, by making the water, snow or ice bead off the surface rather than sticking to it. When the car is stationary, the rain forms into beads that either fall off due to gravity, or get blown off by the force of the wind as you drive along. This means an end to the streaky splodge mess that you often get with a car that hasn’t been treated with this product, giving far better visibility even in the heaviest of storms and vehicle spray.   My Dad showed me the product about 6 years ago, and I’ve been a loyal fan ever since.  Its so good that once, I was driving down an unlit section of motorway in the dark, and I didn’t realise it had been raining until I came upon a lit section and could see other car’s wipers going furiously to clear the water.

Two disadvantages with the product:-

1) It takes time to apply it to get the best effect.  First, you have to clean the windows of any existing grease, grime and other gunk (for example the wax from car washes), but a glass cleaning compound should sort this out.  Then, you have to make sure that the glass is really dry – I usually use a squeegee/paper towel combo to sort that, before applying the product (again with a paper towel) before buffing it clear.  If I’ve not topped it up recently, I’ll repeat this twice to get the best finish, but normally a single coat is enough, especially if done regularly.  Finally, a good buff will bring it back to clear.

2) It wears out fairly regularly.  It used to be much better, but now only lasts about a month before needing a top up.  I suspect they’ve made the formula a bit weaker in order that you use more and hence buy more (that’s the cynic in me talking) but at £10 for a year, its hardly a massive investment.

It also depends on the angle of your windscreen as to what speed the water blows away – on mine 30mph is enough, but I’ve heard some people saying that 40mph is required, and on an old car I had with a flat windscreen, it was about 20mph.

I’m surprised that fleet’s don’t give this out to all their drivers, as it certainly helps improve safety, and I’ve never heard race teams using it – ideal for F1 drivers visors in the wet. Rain-X claim a 1 second reaction time advantage in poor weather conditions, and I can see that this may have mileage (pun intended).

As a final note, I’ve heard of other products which claim to be better/longer lasting/cheaper and all the rest, but I’ve not had any experience of these.  I’ve also heard of special wiper blades which leave a thin trail of silicone across the glass each time you use the wipers, giving the same effect.  If you’ve got any experience of these product, feel free to get in touch – id like to see if a competitor has exceeded the yellow standard

iPhone 3GS GTI TFSI TDI TTFN

Yesterday was the WWDC, Apples developer conference where they show off the latest products and developments to developers world wide.

This year’s keynote speech as come and gone with a range of new announcements which has got Apple fanboi’s somewhat overexcited, and the rest of us interested but not ecstatic.

Up for a refresh was a range of ‘new’ laptops (something PC manufacturers do every week of the year), Snow Leopard, an updated version of Leopard, lots of new apps in the iStore, enhanced functionality to the iPhone with OS 3, and an updated iPhone called iPhone 3GS (for speed, doncha know?).

So, in detail.

Snow Leopard is a new version of the operating system for Mac’s, and has such advanced features as Microsoft Exchange support, a faster browser and updated Quicktime.  In the world of Windows, these are called service packs, but Mac users must shell out $29 for these tweaks and updates.  They’re also moving their core code completely to 64 bit and have improved multi-core cpu handling and better API’s to make it easier to support multi-core’s.

iPhone OS 3.0 is updated for the existing iPhones, to offer cut/copy/paste functionality, MMS functionality, Video recording, Movie rental/purchase from the device, tethering to allow you to use the iPhone’s mobile broadband functionality with a Windows or Mac machine rather than a dongle. They’re bringing an improved browser to make it even more desktop like, language support, remote kill switch (for MobileMe users only and I suspect built at the demand of corporates), find my iPhone (for absent minded folks) and better/easier communication with 3rd party peripherals and sensors.  One big excitement is TomTom, rumoured for over 12 months and finally arriving in the App store.

iPhone 3GS is an iPhone 3G update, faster better stronger, covering such support as 7.2 mbps HSDPA, 3mp Camera, Voice control, Digital Compass (for when GPS isn’t accurate enough) and options of 16gb and 32gb storage capabilities, with the original 3G sticking at $99 for the 8giger.

So all in all, nothing groundbreaking – everything that Apple are billing as ground breaking is nothing new in the rest of the IT industry, but it certainly sounds like they’re starting to get their act together regarding features and functionality that every other smart phone has been able to do for the past 3 years.  However, once again, I’m going to wait to see what the caveats are, just like what came about after the iPhone 3G appeared on the scene.

Stereo-typically poor headphones?

One frustration I come upon every few months is just how rubbish headphones are – I can guarantee that within 3 months of purchase, a set is completely destroyed and must be replaced.

I’ve tried all sorts – the cheap ones, the expensive ones, branded, unbranded – all of which end up in various states of disassembly.

The previous set was a ‘Technotrend’ pair bought from Tesco’s.  Their current state is that the backs have fallen off each ‘phone’,  one side no longer works, and the other side sometimes leaves the frontage that protects the speaker in your ear.

My current set (about 6 weeks old) has a back that falls off on one side and occasionally discharges an electrical shock at random intervals into the ear.  These ones are Phillips and were twice as much as said technotrend units.

I often listen to quiet music whilst I work to filter out background office noise and distractions, and I also find it helps to stimulate the brain.  So they do get used daily, but only in an office environment.  I’ve tried tens of sets over the years, and ALL show similar problems.  The only solution I can see are ‘over the ear’ units, but I don’t think these are appropriate for an office environment, as they’re hardly discreet, and are more difficult to use with a single ear (I like to keep one ear free to at least have some contact with the outside world).

A short discussion in the office seems to confirm that I’m not the only one that experiences these issues, and quite frankly its abysmal that no-one seems to build headphones which are resistant to their environment.  Unless you can suggest otherwise.  I do wonder on this World Environment Day (WED) how many millions – perhaps billions of these go into landfill every year? Such a waste.

Some mid-week humor.

I’ve happened upon these during my voyages on the choppy waters of the Internet and they made me smile, so I thought Id bring them to you too.

First Up, from GraphJam…

For those of you who haven’t experienced GraphJam yet – its a site where people can submit graphs representing information in a humorous way, such as the above.

Secondly, I have discovered the quotes of the great ‘Gene Spafford’, A professor of computer science at Purdue University, and a leading computer security expert.  Wikipedia has a great article on him here.

Anyway, he has some excellent quotes related to the Internet (but perhaps not suitable for Iris’s Quote of the Day, so I dispense them here:-

• Axiom #1: "The Usenet is not the real world. The Usenet usually does not even resemble the real world."^[2]

  • Corollary #1: "Attempts to change the real world by altering the structure of the Usenet is an attempt to work sympathetic magic -- electronic voodoo."^[2]
  • Corollary #2: "Arguing about the significance of newsgroup names and their relation to the way people really think is equivalent to arguing whether it is better to read tea leaves or chicken entrails to divine the future."^[2]
• Axiom #2: "Ability to type on a computer terminal is no guarantee of sanity, intelligence, or common sense."^[2]
  • Corollary #3: "An infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards could produce something like Usenet."^[2]
  • Corollary #4: "They could do a better job of it."^[2]
• Axiom #3: "Sturgeon's Law (90% of everything is crap) applies to Usenet."^[2]
  • Corollary #5: "In an unmoderated newsgroup, no one can agree on what constitutes the 10%."^[2]
  • Corollary #6: "Nothing guarantees that the 10% isn't crap, too."^[2]
• "Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhoea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it."^[2]
• "Don't sweat it -- it's not real life. It's only ones and zeroes."^[2]
• "The only truly secure system is one that is powered off, cast in a block of concrete and sealed in a lead-lined room with armed guards - and even then I have my doubts."^[3]
• "Securing an environment of Windows platforms from abuse - external or internal - is akin to trying to install sprinklers in a fireworks factory where smoking on the job is permitted."^[4]

I know a few of these should make my colleagues smile.  I particularly like the last one.
For those of you who don’t know what Usenet and Newsgroups are, they’re an early piece of internet technology still going strong, but out of the limelight of the general populous and they’re basically message boards accessible to all to post and reply to – an early form of forums.

I’m almost Physically Excited….

Last Night in the great city of L.A. Microsoft’s Xbox division treated us to upcoming releases for the Xbox360, and I’m so chuffed that that was the platform I bought into.

They’ve got some great stuff lined up – in the games category, they’ve announced Forza Motorsport 3, Metal Gear Solid,  Final Fantasty XIII (Release shedule), DJ Hero and Beatles Rock Band amongst others.  These are all massive franchises, and quite a coo to Microsoft to be bringing MGS to the 360 when it has traditionally been a Sony exclusive. Some of the above arn’t exclusives but they’re still exciting non the less. Plus, the big announcement of a motion ‘controller’ in the guise of Project Natal – A camera/motion sensor that allows you to participate in games like the old PS2 eye-toy of old, but in a HD style.  Plus, as well as the camera, it has voice recognition to allow you interact with the screen for example, playing a painting game you can ‘say’ the colour you wish to use then draw with it in your hands.  It doesn’t sound much but looks v.exciting.

As well as games, Microsoft seem to be bringing a lot more other functionality – you may have already read about Sky ‘Anytime’ coming to the 360 which is amazing, but they’re also bringing last.fm integration, Twitter and Facebook XBL plugins plus downloadable full retail xbox 360 games.

All in all, that is an amazing featureset coming up, and its not even covering everything all the external developers are doing.  Exciting times, and whilst I’m sure Playstation will be doing their bit,  I’m not certain that Nintendo will have much to offer from their Wii.

PS, if any of you are on XBL or Connect24, let me know your ID’s – maybe we can game sometime?

Wiimbledon 2009

OK – Great new Charity Idea for 2009 – The All Office Yawn Tennis Association Wii Championship Tournament.

A series of 16 or 32 draw competitions in the events ‘Mens Singles, Ladies Singles, Doubles and Mixed Doubles’  taking part during the two weeks of Wimbledon, using the tennis game on the Nintendo Wii game, Wii Sports.  Each stage of each tournament will use the ‘best-of-five’ rules, with the finals being the ‘best-of-five’ x 3 round.  The Winner(s) of each round go forward to play another winner from that round, until it is whittled down to entrants battling it out for a small prize.

Each player donates a nominal £2 for charity(e.g. £4 to enter a team in the doubles events), plus spectators would be asked to make a small contribution.

The competition to be held in the office and will require a Nintendo Wii hooked upto a projector or TV,  upto 4 WiiMotes and the associated score chart, and open to anyone wishing to participate where there are spaces to participate.

What do people think?  Great idea???  And there’s no reason why other offices and departments couldn’t run similar tournaments across the country, perhaps even with the winners from each one taking part in a Wall star’s Exhibition Tournament :)

Expenses? Its gonna cost you!

Well, we’re into the 14th day of the MPs Expenses Storm and I can’t really let it go any longer without comment.  Now, because its a Newspaper,  I take everything coming from the Daily Telegraph with a pinch of salt,  but its certainly obvious that something went wrong somewhere along the line.  As far as I can tell, the Houses of Parliament expenses system have had somewhat ‘loose’ standards applied to it, which seems to have lead to some MP’s bending the system pretty much to breaking point.  Only now, the white wash has been removed to reveal that the supporting structure is pretty damaged and needs to be replaced.

All businesses I’ve ever worked for or heard about require full and detailed claim forms itemising every expense and requiring a justification for that.  Claims for goods and services require supporting VAT receipts as well, in order to satisfy good financial practices,  the auditors and the tax man.  But it seems that the HoP expenses committee allow a certain amount of ‘undocumented’ claims, whereby miscellaneous expenses are allowed under general categories, for example ‘Office Costs’ and  ‘Staying away from Home’ allowance.

Whilst I don’t doubt that all of our representatives have stayed pretty well within the ‘rules’ for the claims, the issue is that some of them have perhaps lost site of the ‘spirit’ of the rules.  The whole ‘duck pond’ fiasco illustrates this perfectly.  Sure, it was costs incurred running a second home, BUT, you don’t need a duck pond in order to conduct ministerial business.  I think some of them may have forgotten what they became an MP for – not for the fiscal rewards, but to serve their community and country.  Or have I got that wrong?

I don’t understand why the HoP can’t build a big hotel for all the MP’s to shack up in when they’re in London – kind of like students ‘Halls of Residence’, but perhaps a little plusher.  Granted, it will be a big initial outlay for the taxpayer, but then ongoing costs should be negligible.  They shouldn’t need much more – after all, they should be in London to conduct parliamentary business, not be on jolly’s,  and they should return to their constituency to serve their local community whenever they’re not in the Capital on business.

That's not to say MP’s are paid amazingly well – I personally don’t think £63k is THAT much compared to other jobs around the country.  Yes, its more than a lot of us are on, but its not off in the realms of fantasy.  Even the Prime-Minister, by the time the bonuses e.t.c. are tacked on is only around £200,000 – much less than many FTSE-250 company directors I know of, and he’s in charge of the country.  It really is the frivolous extra’s that get the general populous excited.

Hopefully though once the storm does eventually settle, it will lead to us, the taxpayer getting a better deal with fair, open and responsible pay for MP’s to help them step up to serve us to get the best for the country.

I think there is light at the end of the tunnel in this – I just hope the bulb doesn’t go, as they won’t be able to get an electrical engineer in to replace it.

Officially Adult…

Well, it had to happen at some point, I think I’m now classing myself as an Adult.  A number of events recently, culminating in my ordering of a subscription to National Geographic Magazine, and switching from Moyles to Wogan in the morning.  I shall have to fetch out a pipe and slippers soon.  Anyway, this list will help you identify if you’re no longer ‘of the youth’.

• You have friends who have kids.
• Naps are a good thing.
• You actually buy scarves, gloves, and sunscreen.
• Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.
• The only thing in your cereal box is ... cereal.
• Your idea of the best Friday night out is one out in the Garden with a nice beer/glass of wine.
• The local supermarket no longer asks for ID when you buy alcohol.
• When snacking out, you choose Starbucks over McDonalds because it has a much calmer atmosphere.
• Your parents treat you as an equal.
• Financial matters consume several evenings a month.
• You look in the surveillance camera monitor at the convenience store, wonder who that guy is standing at the counter with the bald spot, and then realize it is a shot of you from behind.
• Its not a surprise that politicians philander.
• You use the term ‘The Youth of Today’.

Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments box below – I’ll try and look out for them on my own meandering journey through life.

NVidia Cards on Debian (specifically Lenny)

Anyone running Debian Xorg will know that getting accelerated Graphics drivers working (beyond using the nv driver) is more complicated than achieving world piece. I tried the official nvidia drivers, I tried the packages within the repositories, all to no effect.  However, http://desiato.tinyplanet.ca/~lsorense/debian/debian-nvidia-dri-howto.html has perfect instructions which worked first time.

Just a bit of detail around my card for reference:

• Nvidia GeForce 6200 128mb AGP.
• Debian Lenny (v 2.6.26-1-686)
• Intel Desktop Mobo (An 82865 IIRC).
• Gnome Desktop

I hope this is of use to someone, as I lost many an hour trying to get all other instructions working.  Also, for reference,  I gave up trying to get an ancient  Riva TNT2 working, but the 6200 is an excellent upgrade, and pretty cheap too.   It also means I'm able to decommission a PC from the living room, and hopefully I'll be able to get XBMC compiled and working on it too.

Am I Selfish?

Today I'm having a 'me' day - a day with as little contact with others as possible where I just mooch about eating what I want, watching what I want, doing what I want, without having to have a conversation or discussion about it.  Is this selfish of me?

I am happy to be on my own - as an only child, I learned to make my own entertainment and found peace with my own company.   Many people I've talked to over the years are surprised by this, but I am more relaxed by myself than I am in the company of others.  That's not to say that I don't enjoy being with others, but I do enjoy those periods of solitude I can occasionally experience.

I think this may be why I enjoy swimming so much.  When you put your head under the water, you cross from the normal world across a boundary layer into the watery world where the normal environment is excluded.  Even in something as man-made as a swimming pool, any sound and vision becomes significantly muted you in your own little world.

As I grow older, through work and home life, the opportunity for this quiet time becomes diminished.  I'm not sad about this, but it does mean that when I'm holiday, I like to take a day's contemplation time to refresh and renew.   I suspect that over time, even this will be reduced, but so be it.   So I should say it now - farewell solace - you will be missed.

Observances on Driving Technique.

I've noticed that round here, people seem to follow a very different highway code, that might perhaps confuse and scare the outsider, so here are some tips for those passing through the English Midlands this Bank Holiday Weekend.

1) When traversing a roundabout taking a right hand exit, be sure to position yourself in the left hand lane when entering the roundabout.

2) When driving be sure to drive up the middle so that you traverse the white dividing line.  This avoids the many potholes and will extend the life of your suspension. This also allows any unexpected bus to undertake you.

3) Indicator usage is frowned upon.  Their usage merely ruins the aesthetics of the vehicle. A crisp packet on the rear parcel shelf is an effective signal of your intentions.

4) When driving at night, be sure to use only your foglights.  If your vehicle does not permit you to use foglights without some other forward lighting, be sure to only use sidelights.

5) If you do not have foglights, kick out one headlamp (preferably on the drivers side) to give the impression to other motorists that you are a motorcycle who is staying within the lane. This will help keep the other driver alert when he approaches and realises that you are both on a collision course.

6) When turning right into a T-Junction, be sure to cross into the lane of any waiting traffic. This encourages other drivers to stay back from the white line and prevent them nosing out into traffic.

7) Queuing is for wimps. Be sure to cut in at the last second!

8) Posted speed limits are minimum targets.  If you fail to exceed this speed in the shortest possible time, you will be signaled by the neighbourhood traffic watch to get out of the way. 

9) Ensure that you do not give way to vehicles on your right when entering a roundabout.  Even if they're on the roundabout.

10) Petrol Stations are starting to invest in 'Pay at Pump' technology.  This device allows outsiders to pay for fuel using pins and chips. You have no purpose being there - queue for your fuel using the other two pumps such that you may pay the attendant using paper money.  If this blocks the road, then so be it!  Also ensure that you use the pump on the opposite side to your vehicles fuel tank such that you spray unused fuel all over the floor.

Length does matter...

Annoyingly, I own the smallest large car going!  I have a Ford Mondeo Estate with masses of storage space in the boot, but frustratingly, I have a list of things that won't fit in it, because I've tried it.

1) A divan bed,
2) A sofa,
3) A ladder.

In the same style as 'will it blend',  I feel a new Internet phenomena - Will it go in?  Attempting to insert large objects into the boot(trunk) of my car.

Inappropriate Religious Harassment?

Is it inappropriate for me to put a sign on my door that read's "Bugger Off God Squad"?  The reason I ask is that they regularly feel the need to come a knocking trying to sell their wares to me, unannounced and uninvited.   Why, when even double glazing salesmen have stopped this aspect of their trade (at least round here) do the various religions feel that because I'm not in church, I must have missed out on what they're offering, such that they must come and reedumacate me.

Well, let me tell you this!  This country teaches its children about religion, and I have been exposed to 'Christian Value's for the last 27 years, so I've kind of got an idea of what its all about.  And in my humble opinion, its all a load of tosh.  That's just what I (and many others in this country) believe, but you don't ever hear atheists tapping people up to ask if they don't believe in a god.  I'm perfectly happy with people wishing to worship whatever deity, god or gods they may choose,  but don't try and enforce your value's on me.   So keep your prayers, thoughts and worship to your temples, homes and the occasional hour on the telly.  At least then I've got the opportunity to not participate in your beliefs if I choose not to.

Until that happens, I'm going to get some quotes from a sign company.

Driving me round the bend...

Tis the time of the year when I commence the watching of sport with the return of Formula 1 to our screens, and best of all it's back on the BBC!  I'm looking forward to the beeb's 'new' viewing experience, because as well as the obvious no adverts, there's going to be lots of red button action, including the option of having an in-car feed and alternative commentary.  Plus the return of Martin Brundle and Ted Kravitz won't make the transition too strange.  One disappointment this year is that there will be no HD coverage, but this is apparently more to do with FoM than the BBC.

I'm waiting to see the rule changes with trepidation - it worked quite well last year and was an exciting season, so I'm hoping that things won't go too far awry with the new rules. 

Kers (Kitentic Energy Recovery System) - should be an interesting system to see - being able to have a 'turbo-boost' each lap, but with the added weight should make for interesting viewing.

Wings - the front wing now lower and as wide as the car have been fitted with adjustable 'flaps' to allow upto two adjustments per lap by the driver,  and the taller much narrower rear wing which will reduce the amount of wake might make cars more competitive.  It will be interesting to see how the diffuser argument pan's out.

Slick Tyres - Finally, slicks reappear for dry races which should create more grip and give a more entertaining spectacle,  provided the teams can manage their tyres effectively.  The only disadvantage is that it will be more difficult to visually see the wear on the slicks compared to the grooved tyres of the last 11 seasons.

Management - FoM have really tried to reduce the cost of competing this year (Quantitative Easing anyone?) so have introduced a number of cost saving measures.  No 'off track' testing, 6 week factory shutdowns and the sharing of fuel and tyre data between teams will all help to save money and help the smaller guys compete with the big bucks teams of old.

My big fear is that they're going too far with these cuts and turning it effectively into a 1 car formula, just with different stickers on each motor.  And part of the magic of F1 is the crazy technology that the brains behind the scenes come up with to eek out those few tenths of a second to get their guy a bit further up the grid.  Whilst the new season should open it upto the smaller guys (you only have to look at the speed from the Brawn GP team),  I really don't want to see it ruined for the fans.  I don't want it to become A1GP, because that already exists - F1 needs to remain the pinnacle of world motorsport and I hope this season will demonstrate that that mix of technology and team/driver skill still exists.

I'll try and post some regular updates of how my Fantasy F1 team that we're running here at George Road is doing - I suspect it may also be an also-ran, but I've hedged my bets a lot better this year.

And for future reference, the current F1 Calendar is as follows:-

Round	Grand Prix	Date	Time (Local)	Time (UTC)	Laps
1	Australia	29 March	17:00	06:00	58
2	Malaysia	5 April	17:00	09:00	56
3	China	19 April	15:00	07:00	56
4	Bahrain	26 April	15:00	12:00	57
5	Spain	10 May	14:00	12:00	66
6	Monaco	24 May	14:00	12:00	78
7	Turkey	7 June	15:00	12:00	58
8	Britain	21 June	13:00	12:00	60
9	Germany	12 July	14:00	12:00	60
10	Hungary	26 July	14:00	12:00	70
11	European*	23 August	14:00	12:00	57
12	Belgium	30 August	14:00	12:00	44
13	Italy	13 September	14:00	12:00	53
14	Singapore	27 September	20:00	12:00	61
15	Japan	4 October	14:00	05:00	53
16	Brazil	18 October	14:00	16:00	71
17	Dubai	1 November	15:00	11:00	55

Good Luck Everyone!